Twenty-Sixth PSI

[a_gentle_boy]

[Ring, ring!  It is 6:00 in the morning and there is someone buzzing at your door.

The day after Thanksgiving, Lucas was awakened by the sound of the telephone.  Upon picking it up, he was greeted by a friendly disembodied voice thanking him for his application as a paper-boy.  He'd be starting tomorrow!

 . . .

The rest of the day was spent in anxiety about what he was going to do.  And seeing as how he was Lucas, he came to the inevitable conclusion that he'd better make the best job of it he could.  This is the reason why your doorbell is being rung at an ungodly hour -- If it's possible for a buzzer to sound polite, it does.  Lucas will wait with a cheerful smile on your front porch until someone shows up to answer the door, after which he'll promptly launch into a speech that sounds as if it has been nervously rehearsed for hours.  In the event that no one does, he will leave after two rings.  Morning people may notice that there's no bike nearby, but there is a table meandering about your front lawn.  The speech runs as follows, though you can cut him off at any time.]

Good morning, [mister/miss]!  My name is Lucas.  We're not acquainted, but I wanted to let you know that I'll be responsible for bringing your newspapers in the morning now.  I'll do everything I can to make my delivery as quiet and punctual as possible.

Thanks very much, and I look forward to serving you!

[In the event that he knows you.]

O-Oh!  Hi!  Um.  Ah.  Oh, I have to change my speech.

Comments

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh.

How are you adjusting to Mayfield so far? Were you OK over that holiday? The one with the turkeys?

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... I had a turkey stuffed with a turkey...

... which was stuffed with a smaller turkey...

... which was stuffed with a smaller turkey...

... which was stuffed with a smaller turkey...

... ... there were twenty turkeys before the last one was too small to check for another...

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . .

Actually, that sounds pretty interesting. Do you still any of them?

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... I still have the smaller ones...

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I wonder if there's anyone here with the power of Super Magnification. Infinite turkeys would be pretty neat.

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... Turkeys that small aren't any good for eating...

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Probably not, but it's neat to see something impossible, anyway, isn't it?

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... oh, it's not impossible... but most worlds don't have the technology and/or magic to properly run the formula to get an 'infinite turkey' like this...

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Do you mean yours does?

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... it is... but it's illegal...

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . Making an infinite of anything is probably a bad idea, I guess.

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... it's not bad, if you know what you're doing...

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . Can you manage infinite peace and happiness?

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... ... no, not really...

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Sorry. That was a joke . . . But I mean. There's not much else I'd really want an infinite amount of.

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... ...

...

... infinite duck would be delicious...

*she's been wanting duck ever since she heard Ahiru quack ._. *

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

U-Uh.

You'd get full up eventually, though, and then the world would overflow with ducks. Think of all the bones.

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... I just need to stop making the duck be infinite...

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Then that's not really infinite, is it?

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... if you make it infinite forever instead of for as long as you want it to be, it causes a lot of problems...

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh. That's what I meant.

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... I've seen an infinite goose go out of control before...

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Did someone stop it in the end?

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... last time I checked, no...

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . Huh.

[Lucas is imagining a goose chained up over a bottomless pit now. A new one pops out every ten seconds and falls, honking sadly, into the depths of oblivion.]

You should probably fix that.