A Certain Someone's Memories

[a_gentle_boy]

. . . . . . . . .

I'm sorry for what happened.  I didn't mean any of it, of course, b-but.  It still happened . . .  And I still did what I did.  I don't know if I can really apologize enough.  I'm sorry.  I'm really sorry . . .

[There is sniffling for a few moments before Lucas seems to calm down.]

I don't know if I can make up for it . . . But I heard people are still hurt after everything that happened.  I can try to heal you if you want . . . I know people will ask, but it's kinda . . . it's magic.  And I can fix blindness, too . . .

I'm really, really sorry.

[After this call, Lucas can be found sitting on his front porch looking extremely dejected.  He is aimlessly throwing a yo-yo back and forth, and although he's not doing anything particularly impressive, he seems to have some skill.]

Comments

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[He shakes his head, glancing at the boy before laughing darkly.]

Don't think it'll do anything. This is what I got ba-

[And then he remembers what Ness had told him about the future boy. Face close to Ness' in structure. Yeah, he could see that. And he isn't fooled by the voice any more. The fit seemed to snap him out.

He just narrows his eyes.]

You.

...Why would you get a yo-yo as one of the things given back?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Ness you traitor. Was it too late to run into the house and lock the door still? Lucas stands still for a few moments before, of all things, smiling wanly.]

. . . I guess I can't hide anymore.

[But he'd said 'a' yo-yo. Not 'my' yo-yo. Has he still not realized it?]

You can probably guess. Ness and I fight almost the same way.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[He just stands frowning at the kid.]

When did I say I wanted a fight, kid?

[But he does. If he has something of his, he wants it back. No matter what.]

I just want confirmation on what I'm thinking about the yo-yo. Give me a yes or no answer as to whether or not it's mine.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I meant with yo-yos and sticks and bats.

[Lucas pauses for a few seconds at this and frowns. Looks like the game was up.]

You had it for a long time, I think. But I don't know if you can call it yours.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

It was a gift to me. Ness gave it to me when we were still friends. How was it not mine?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . Is that how it went? I thought you'd taken it from him after he, um. You know.

[That was a bit of a surprise.]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Why would I care about it if that was the case? ...I don't think I would have ever been able to go back to Onett anyway and-

[Shut up dumbshit.]

...What do you want for it?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

If I was going to live forever, I'd want keepsakes to remember my friends.

[Well that sounded jolly.]

You can't give me anything I want. And you didn't even care the last time I talked to you. I don't know if I even believe that it was actually a present, either.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Yeah, okay got me there.

[He gritted his teeth, trying to turn it into a mean smile. His fists were quivering, but not from rage; really, he just wanted to lunge for and try and pull the yo-yo out of the boy's hand.]

Let's not be cute. I wasn't the only one being a little less than honest the last time we talked, Lucas.

[That's right. He got your name too.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . I told you I didn't want to tell you my name. That's not being dishonest. And I meant, um. When I talked to you the last time in the future. You didn't seem to care about it then.

[He isn't really too surprised. His name had been spoken at least a kajillion times on the telephone since last they talked and it seemed like Porky was stalking him, anyway.]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

I'm not talking about your name, jerkwad.

I meant your whole spiel about how you want to save me. I'm just curious if you were actively lying, or if you said what you said just because you felt you had to say something and couldn't stop yourself.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . You heard what I told Mr. Netherlands. It's your fault my world was destroyed. How do you think I feel about you?

But I wasn't lying, either.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

You think I'm hurt by what you said or feel about me to whoever the hell you were talking with? Hell no. That's pretty much what I expected all along. I'm more used to being hated than even you probably think.

But tell me. How do you expect to save me when you believe what I'm going to be is a forgone conclusion anyway? You don't really think I can be saved, do you? So if your perception of me won't even let you think I can be saved, why even bother?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

You want me to be honest? I don't think you'll change. I don't think anything I do will change that a million years from now, the Nowhere Islands will be wiped out.

But I hope you can change. I hope you'll find a friend who can show you what things like friendship and love are. I hope that no one else in the world is ever as lonely as you'll become again. So as long as I can hope these things, why should I stop trying?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Because perception is as much a point of change as the person actually changing. Even if I do somehow change, you'll always refuse to acknowledge I did. I guess in part what I'm saying is that, if you want me to change, how do I know you're not going to just go warning people about something I haven't even done yet and to avoid me, thus making a much larger hurdle for me to have any chance of changing considering I might have the whole damn town against me at that point?

I just don't understand why you keep hoping for something you have no hope will happen.

But I will admit it's pissing me off with you saying there's something I can't do. That's what really gets me.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

That's between the two of us. No one even knows about anything that happened in my home except Mr. Netherlands. And maybe Miss Alice if she's a good guesser. But I don't talk about it, and if you don't want me to say anything, just say so. It's not like you're behaving differently around other people to trick them.

And why can't I still hope for something even if I don't think it's very likely? I didn't say you can't do it. I said I don't think you will.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

It's your choice kid. In the end I don't give a crap.

Yeah? Bet you I will.

[He's barely listening to you on that point. As far as he's concerned, right now this is just another game for him.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

What? You bet you'll . . . Um. Sure. We'll bet.

If you win, you can have the yo-yo. If you lose, you, um. End up with a pretty bad punishment anyway so I guess I'll just kick you in the shin or something.

. . . That's a joke.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[He simply lifts his nose haughtily, getting a better grip on his maps as he turns and starts to leave.]

Whatever. I'm totally going to win my yo-yo back, jerkwad.

[And he proceeds to stomp off, the earlier topic about WHY and HOW he was going to win his yo-yo back completely forgotten. Clearly, just trying to win some game against a kid he barely knew was that important to him.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Bye.

[Lucas has no idea what just happened, but he thinks it was a good thing. Maybe.]