A Certain Someone's Memories

[a_gentle_boy]

. . . . . . . . .

I'm sorry for what happened.  I didn't mean any of it, of course, b-but.  It still happened . . .  And I still did what I did.  I don't know if I can really apologize enough.  I'm sorry.  I'm really sorry . . .

[There is sniffling for a few moments before Lucas seems to calm down.]

I don't know if I can make up for it . . . But I heard people are still hurt after everything that happened.  I can try to heal you if you want . . . I know people will ask, but it's kinda . . . it's magic.  And I can fix blindness, too . . .

I'm really, really sorry.

[After this call, Lucas can be found sitting on his front porch looking extremely dejected.  He is aimlessly throwing a yo-yo back and forth, and although he's not doing anything particularly impressive, he seems to have some skill.]

Comments

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . You heard what I told Mr. Netherlands. It's your fault my world was destroyed. How do you think I feel about you?

But I wasn't lying, either.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

You think I'm hurt by what you said or feel about me to whoever the hell you were talking with? Hell no. That's pretty much what I expected all along. I'm more used to being hated than even you probably think.

But tell me. How do you expect to save me when you believe what I'm going to be is a forgone conclusion anyway? You don't really think I can be saved, do you? So if your perception of me won't even let you think I can be saved, why even bother?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

You want me to be honest? I don't think you'll change. I don't think anything I do will change that a million years from now, the Nowhere Islands will be wiped out.

But I hope you can change. I hope you'll find a friend who can show you what things like friendship and love are. I hope that no one else in the world is ever as lonely as you'll become again. So as long as I can hope these things, why should I stop trying?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Because perception is as much a point of change as the person actually changing. Even if I do somehow change, you'll always refuse to acknowledge I did. I guess in part what I'm saying is that, if you want me to change, how do I know you're not going to just go warning people about something I haven't even done yet and to avoid me, thus making a much larger hurdle for me to have any chance of changing considering I might have the whole damn town against me at that point?

I just don't understand why you keep hoping for something you have no hope will happen.

But I will admit it's pissing me off with you saying there's something I can't do. That's what really gets me.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

That's between the two of us. No one even knows about anything that happened in my home except Mr. Netherlands. And maybe Miss Alice if she's a good guesser. But I don't talk about it, and if you don't want me to say anything, just say so. It's not like you're behaving differently around other people to trick them.

And why can't I still hope for something even if I don't think it's very likely? I didn't say you can't do it. I said I don't think you will.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

It's your choice kid. In the end I don't give a crap.

Yeah? Bet you I will.

[He's barely listening to you on that point. As far as he's concerned, right now this is just another game for him.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

What? You bet you'll . . . Um. Sure. We'll bet.

If you win, you can have the yo-yo. If you lose, you, um. End up with a pretty bad punishment anyway so I guess I'll just kick you in the shin or something.

. . . That's a joke.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[He simply lifts his nose haughtily, getting a better grip on his maps as he turns and starts to leave.]

Whatever. I'm totally going to win my yo-yo back, jerkwad.

[And he proceeds to stomp off, the earlier topic about WHY and HOW he was going to win his yo-yo back completely forgotten. Clearly, just trying to win some game against a kid he barely knew was that important to him.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Bye.

[Lucas has no idea what just happened, but he thinks it was a good thing. Maybe.]