The Truth

[a_gentle_boy]

[Having progressed through the symptoms all week, Lucas is aware that the day is coming when he's going to blab some of his secrets, too.  He keeps out of the house as much as he can, wears a mask on his face to serve as an instant gag if necessary, and when he does feel the need to blab, he spills the beans to his pet bug, who listens very carefully and doesn't judge.  Mostly 'cause it knew everything already anyway. 

It's like being on withdrawal from caffeine.  Super early Friday morning, Lucas is plugging and unplugging the phone alternately in turns, sweating rapidly.  ...He gives in soon enough.]

I... I... 

I destroyed my world.

I destroyed it!  For the sake of saving it, I had to...!  All the responsibility... It fell to me.  In the end, it was my decision, and I ... I chose to destroy it.  It was the only thing that could be done.  I didn't want it.   I never asked to be the one to choose; all I wanted was to beat Pok -- [a brief muffled sound as Lucas clenches his teeth.  he absolutely couldn't say that name it would be against everything he wanted] -- Poh... P-P-Porky.   Porky!  King P.  I wanted to beat him.  I wanted to make things like they were before...!  Before everything was ruined...

It would have been remade according to my heart.  I came here, right after I pulled the Seventh Needle, right after I awakened the Dragon.  The world was destroyed and recreated based on how good I was...  And I'm afraid.  I think about it a lot.  What if I wasn't good enough?  What if I wasn't the right one?  What if they made a mistake when they chose me?  What if... the world just stays destroyed because.... because I was too weak....

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to go home because I think, sometimes, it'll just be... nothing.  Just... nothingness.  All that will be left will be me, knowing that I failed.  Everyone, everything I care for.  I'm afraid... And I know that because I'm afraid...... It just means I'm that much weaker.  I go on and on about love and friendship and things, but sometimes, every now and then...  It's just because I know that's what I should believe.

[Deep breaths for a while as Lucas recovers himself.  That wasn't even the biggest secret.  For the sake of keeping his urges under control, he had let it out.  So be it.]

The savior and the destroyer of the world.  Pathetic, right...?

Comments

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I'd have to be pretty conceited to think I could manage a perfect world, right?

What do you mean, like you...?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Look kid, you shouldn't worry too much about the small stuff. You tried and you really cared about what you were doing. Chances are you did the best anyone could do.

Some guy like me, given the chance to get whatever he wanted? I'd probably slip up and wish for something pretty selfish.

I might say I am a good guy but I'm not even close to your level. I'd rather have you decide than almost anyone else I can name. Trust me.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[He'll be quiet for a few seconds.]

I tried, and I did the best I could. That's what I tell myself, too. It helps a little, hearing it from someone else, though...

I didn't mean to fish for compliments or anything, but... thank you, Mr. Captain.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, I'm not saying anything that isn't true.

Your world is lucky they had you to save it.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

They probably would've been better off with a superhero than a little kid. ...But thanks.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

I don't see how. Most adults are ☠☠☠☠, and they're never going to really change.

You are a good kid and you probably have a better idea how to start off a new world than we do.

Captain America would make it the American dream, even if you didn't want it. Monica would probably PMS and do something stupid. Even Nick Fury would be a terrible choice and these are the top dogs back home.

Even I'd make a pretty ☠☠☠☠ terrible world.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm not too impressed with the American dream, if Mayfield is anything like that...

I think I understand. Everyone has different ideas of what's right... So , in the end, nobody is really right.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Yeah, tell me about it. The American dream isn't as terrible as this place but it's still pretty worthless.

I don't think that's true. I just think some of us are more selfish than others. I'd make a worked that'd work for me and probably only for a few days. ☠☠☠☠, knowing how I plan things, probably a few hours tops.

Maybe someone like you would make a world that works for everyone.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

...Do you mind if I asked what kind of world you'd think you want to make?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

[You caught him on truth day.]

It'd involve drinking, women and me as the only guy in the world.

You know, nothing special. Just that.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

...

You're right; that probably wouldn't be a very practical world. Sorry if I embarrassed you.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

It's okay, I probably shouldn't be telling a little kid about that sort of thing.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Well. I have seen a nightclub before... And I guess I know why some people might consider that ideal...

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Night clubs are just another excuse to dance, drink and get laid.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Um. Pretty much. I don't know if it's something I would enjoy, but it was a way for people to ... relax.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I prefer bars. Same results, but less work.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas will ponder this for a moment or two before coughing.]

Well. Anyway. ...Thanks for listening to me, Mr. Captain. You're a good friend.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

[Good time to end it before the truth gas gets him to elaborate.]

No problem. If you need me, just give me a call.

Oh... if you were a super hero, which of the bad guys in town would you take on first?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I will.

And, um. ...I guess I'd go straight for Zemekis. It seems like everyone else is under his control, to some degree. But it's not like fighting him directly would work, either.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Who is Zemekis?

[Going to totally ignore the straight forward thing not working. The Captain is only good at one tactic.

Also, The Captain is definitely not in the know.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Zemekis is who Lucy really is. The little girl thing is just a disguise.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Oh... huh.

Any houses around town that no one is using?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

There are a lot with only drones inside, but... They're still not empty or anything.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Couldn't make it easy on me, could they?

Maybe I'll just scare everyone out of my house and use that.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

You could ask them politely, too.

Why do you need an empty house, Mr. Captain?