Twenty-Eighth PSI

[a_gentle_boy]

[public]
[There is fumbling on the phone line for a few seconds and a bit of hesitant breathing, as if the speaker isn't sure whether or not he should say what he's about to say.  When he finally gets the words out, though, they are spoken firmly, with confidence.]

I believe him.

I'm not going to ask anyone else to, but . . . I do.  I don't think for a second that he can really get us out of here, but I think he's trying to help us.  It's not out of selflessness or anything -- There's some reason we can't understand . . . If it makes sense, though, I think . . . I think whatever he's after, it's better for him if we escape than if we stay.  It's not for our sake.  But I believe him.

We've fought so hard for so long.  So when somebody offers to help us for the first time . . . If we just refuse and say it's a trick to hurt us even more -- Isn't that a victory for them, too?  We've all been hurt so deeply that our first reaction is to be afraid.  . . . I don't want to become like that.  I don't want to become someone who's bitter and frightened and always suspicious.  I understand -- I'm naive, and I'm stupid.  But I've gotten as far as I have by believing in the good of people, and I won't let Mayfield take that away from me.

 . . . He said something to me.  'Keep on keeping on'. . . .

[filtered to Crowe, Kay, Luke, and Ness]
[He's chosen the people he wants to speak with carefully.  There are so many people he loves and cares for in this place, but . . . He needs a certain type of person for this.  And after carefully considering for another few moments, Lucas slowly and deliberately filters away from his mother.  There are some things he doesn't want her to know.]

I have something to show you.  It might not be a good time now -- When all of this is over, though, I'd like to ask you to come over when you can.  Thanks.

Comments

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

[A-aw, Lucas. He shakes his head.]

You've been through a lot here Lucas, and don't amazingly well. That takes a lot of strength.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I voted to go home.

[Darn box. The lid just wasn't going on right.]

I believe everything I said on the phone, but . . . that's not why I voted. It's because . . . It's because I'm tired. I'm really tired, Crowe.

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

[Crowe gives Lucas a sympathetic look. He definitely relates.]

I know. I understand. I've been here since March. So much has happened. It feels like a lifetime. I want to go home too, but.. I just can't leave this place to keep doing what it's doing. It needs to stop. And I... I have too many friends here. I-I've never had so many before. Friends than I've had longer than all the ones I knew back where I'm from, expect one. I-It's almost like Mayfield is my home now, but only because of the people here. They've been so good to me.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

It has to stop.

[Lucas agrees dully.]

You're stronger than I can be, Crowe. No matter how many times you're hurt or you die, you . . . you're always on your feet again. That's part of why you have so many people who care for you. They admire you. I admire you. But every time I see you get hurt, it's my heart that breaks a little more. That's dumb, isn't it?

I hold on too tight, so . . . I'm weak. That's what he said to me. I can't let go. I can't . . . I can't keep watching everyone I love get killed over and over, month after month. I'm never any help or protection or anything I'm supposed to be. I can't protect them. I can't protect my closest friends. I can't protect you. I can't even protect me, a-and if that's so, then . . . then . . .

I can't let her die again.

[The last words are mouthed so softly that Crowe may not even hear them. Lucas stares at the box's lid, surprisingly dry-eyed.]

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

In the end, there's not much anyone can do to protect people here. You shouldn't blame yourself. Please. The most we can do is just keep working together. That's all we have left in this town - each other.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas continues to examine the box in his hands, not seeming to take in Crowe's words. His whispered response is preceded by a long ten seconds of silence.]

It's not enough.

[He doesn't clarify what he means. The power he has isn't enough to protect others? The most they can do isn't enough? What they have left isn't enough? All of the above?]

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

[Crowe just looks at Lucas sadly for a moment. Then he shakes his head.]

Then I don't know what else to tell you. Since the day I entered Mayfield I've been completely out of my element. I-I know how easy I've had it before, and I'm thankful for it. There's only so much I can do, only so much any of us can do....

I'm tired too, Lucas. Really tired.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas finally seems to come back to himself during Crowe's next words, although he still doesn't look up.]

Do you believe we'll escape, Crowe? Really and truly?

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Considering that everyone comes from all over time and space, I don't think there's ever going to be an easy way to do this.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas nods. That's an answer he can understand. He's quiet for a little while longer before he closes the box properly and slides it underneath his bed.

There is a bit of a glow on his face as he finally looks up at Crowe. Literally, that.]

Thanks, Crowe.

People always say it'll be alright. That's what I say whenever anyone asks me. . . . But it's nice to hear sometimes that . . . I'm not the only one who's unsure.

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

There's so much we don't know about this place, that there's no way we could ever be sure of anything.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas nods again.]

Sometimes, it's hard not to think that it's hopeless. Sorry you had to hear it . . .

But there's one thing we can be sure of, right? We'll always have each other.

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

[Unless they send you home before me, he thinks. After all, Ren had always said the same thing, and now he's long gone.

He manages a small smile.]

Of course. No matter what, Mayfield can't take that away from us.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas is a psychic, but not a telepath. Still, he somehow seems to uncannily intuit what Crowe had been thinking as he stands and turns towards the window.]

Even if we all go, everyone they bring in . . . They'll always keep on fighting. And they'll always continue to rely on each other.