Thirteenth PSI

[a_gentle_boy]

 . . . . . . . . . . .

Hi, everyone. 

As foreman of the section of the factory responsible for producing canned beets, I'm pleased to announce that we've pretty much got things covered for the rest of the week.  I think we're about 2000 cans of beets over where we need to be.  In light of your hard work over the last few months as members of the Glorious Amazing Incredibly Happy People of Um, Prola . . Prolatarines That Hate America, I think it's fair that everyone who works in the beet-produce section should get the next few days off to think about how much you love communism and how happy we all are and how you want to stay out of trouble for sure definitely.

If anyone needs me, I'm going to be, um . . . somewhere far away, I think.  And if anyone asks why you're not at the factory, remember that you have permission from your foreman to stay indoors and not cause trouble until this all blows over.  I mean, until the end of the week.

And if I make any more telephone announcements after this that sound stupid, you should ignore it.

Comments

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

If you say so.

You sure it was worth it?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

50 people might get to live through this pretty easily, right? Why wouldn't it be?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

And what did those people do for you that made them worth it?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Some of them are my friends. But why do they have to have done anything?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

I mean what do they provide you with. No one does something for someone unless that person can give them something in return. That's how people react to one another, whether it's between friend and friend or parent and child.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . That's not a relationship. You don't do things for each other just because the other person can do things for you. You do it because you care for each other.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Bullcrap. That's exactly how the world works. I can count the exceptions I know on one hand.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[This is a glimpse into the mind of a madman. Lucas pauses for a long while.]

No. You're wrong. And even if I explained why you were wrong, you wouldn't believe me, because you work that way.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Well, that's nice.

"Hi. I'd like you to change so you don't do something bad."
"Okay. Show me how I should think to start changing."
"No. You wouldn't get it."

...Which, eh, maybe I wouldn't. But here's the thing: offering yourself up to other people like that is a surefire way to get hurt. I was just trying to warn you before you did.

But whatever.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . People can do that sometimes. Whether they mean it or not, you might get hurt when you try to help them out. Maybe they don't understand what you're trying to do or maybe it's because they've been hurt before in the past, too. I know that pretty well.

But even if that happens, you have to keep on going. Because if the world becomes a place where no one ever does anything for each other . . . It's hopeless, isn't it? I believe in friendship and kindness and laughter, but most of all, I believe in love. And in the end, I believe that people really are worth something, no matter what they do to you.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[There's a pause, and for a moment, you'd think he might have hung up. Slowly, he starts speaking again. Cool, but not necessarily detached or malicious.]

It isn't just a matter of getting hurt when you try and help them out, kid. The fact of life is that people will hurt you regardless of what you do. And you have to be prepared for that to come, because that's most people's default setting.

Most. Not all. And even I'll admit I take it to an extreme. But I need to, otherwise I'd have been dead even before I started doing what I'm doing now.

...Yeah. You can believe in those. But they're insubstantial to me, and I think you're crazy for believing in them. But whatever. I'm not going to deter you.

And it's more than that. People are worth whatever you TREAT them their worth. You treat someone like they're a king, boom, they're a king in their own eyes and most others. Same for if you treat someone like trash.

That's how I view it, anyway.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . See? You wouldn't understand. Whatever it was that made you believe those things won't change because of two telephone conversations with me.

You know what I feel about what you say. And you know . . . because of what you believe, despite the anger and the sorrow and the pain . . . more than anything else, people will feel sorry for you. It's not fair that someone, anyone, could be hurt so badly that they'd believe things like that wholeheartedly.

That's what we'll tell each other. I know you'll be angry. But I thought you should know why I'm willing to talk to you at all.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

You're smarter than I first thought you'd be, kid.

I'm not angry. I don't get angry when people can actually converse with me about why they believe what they believe, and don't force me to do what they say. The moment someone forces me to think like they do, or act like they do, that's when I'm done with it.

...I don't want to be responsible for killing anyone, kid. I'm trying to see if I can get "better".

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas slowly nods.]

I'll believe that . . . I've just said, after all, about how I feel, right? And you aren't the same as you will be.

But I'm not perfect or all-forgiving or all-compassionate or anything like that. I'm not going to lie to you and say that I hope we can be friends someday or that I trust you. It's hard enough to even talk to you at all . . . But I am glad that you're willing to try. Thank you.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Not asking you too kid. I don't really think I'll have "friends" or experience affection or "love" in any real sense anyway. But understand that I'm keeping an eye on you too. It's stupid for you think my interest in you is simply some desire for friendship. You're some kind of view into a future for me, and that's interesting enough.

Don't thank me. I didn't do anything yet.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

That's fair. I'm not going to tell you much more about what happens to you, though. I've probably said too much already.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Don't expect you would. I just want to observe.

......For what it's worth, and I know it isn't worth crap, I'm sorry for whatever game it is I play that causes all that. Because really, for all my talk, other people aren't the ones I hate.

[click]