The Truth

[a_gentle_boy]

[Having progressed through the symptoms all week, Lucas is aware that the day is coming when he's going to blab some of his secrets, too.  He keeps out of the house as much as he can, wears a mask on his face to serve as an instant gag if necessary, and when he does feel the need to blab, he spills the beans to his pet bug, who listens very carefully and doesn't judge.  Mostly 'cause it knew everything already anyway. 

It's like being on withdrawal from caffeine.  Super early Friday morning, Lucas is plugging and unplugging the phone alternately in turns, sweating rapidly.  ...He gives in soon enough.]

I... I... 

I destroyed my world.

I destroyed it!  For the sake of saving it, I had to...!  All the responsibility... It fell to me.  In the end, it was my decision, and I ... I chose to destroy it.  It was the only thing that could be done.  I didn't want it.   I never asked to be the one to choose; all I wanted was to beat Pok -- [a brief muffled sound as Lucas clenches his teeth.  he absolutely couldn't say that name it would be against everything he wanted] -- Poh... P-P-Porky.   Porky!  King P.  I wanted to beat him.  I wanted to make things like they were before...!  Before everything was ruined...

It would have been remade according to my heart.  I came here, right after I pulled the Seventh Needle, right after I awakened the Dragon.  The world was destroyed and recreated based on how good I was...  And I'm afraid.  I think about it a lot.  What if I wasn't good enough?  What if I wasn't the right one?  What if they made a mistake when they chose me?  What if... the world just stays destroyed because.... because I was too weak....

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to go home because I think, sometimes, it'll just be... nothing.  Just... nothingness.  All that will be left will be me, knowing that I failed.  Everyone, everything I care for.  I'm afraid... And I know that because I'm afraid...... It just means I'm that much weaker.  I go on and on about love and friendship and things, but sometimes, every now and then...  It's just because I know that's what I should believe.

[Deep breaths for a while as Lucas recovers himself.  That wasn't even the biggest secret.  For the sake of keeping his urges under control, he had let it out.  So be it.]

The savior and the destroyer of the world.  Pathetic, right...?

Comments

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Come over, then. We'll talk here.

[tapshoetomove.livejournal.com]

Right, see you in a bit.

[And a few minutes later there's some knocking.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Hi, Luke. Come on in.

[Lucas will pull the door open and usher his friend inside. He looks fairly exhausted.]

...Do you even know what communism really is, Luke?

[tapshoetomove.livejournal.com]

[Luke comes inside, and at the mention of communism gives an exasperated sigh.]

It's a political theory, I figured out that much. Other then that I have no clue what it is or why I'm talking about it.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

...You'd better stay here for a while, then. I don't want anyone to knock on your door at midnight and kidnap you.

[tapshoetomove.livejournal.com]

Is it the hazmats? I'd rather not meet them anytime soon.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I don't know. I'm just pretty sure it's not a good thing to be blurting something like that out.

[tapshoetomove.livejournal.com]

I don't doubt that, I just wish I knew how to keep it under control better.

Anyway, keeping each other preoccupied I think would be the best solution here? We could stop each other from using the phones anyways.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

...OK. Let's go the living room, then.

[He'll smile faintly and lead the way inside.]

I'm not much good at games and things, but we can do something in here.

[tapshoetomove.livejournal.com]

Okay! What do you want to play?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

....I should also probably have mentioned that the only thing I have is Scrabble.

[tapshoetomove.livejournal.com]

[Luckily for Lucas, Luke didn't know how to play Scrabble. While he caught a glimpse of the board game in his room, the game itself was invented just a few years later in his time.]

Uh, sounds great! Let's play it.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas will shrug a little and return shortly after with the game. He'll begin to set it up... And as Luke had been the one to introduce him to board games in general, he assumes his friend knows the rules.]

So... Did you get a chance to read through everything from the other day?

[tapshoetomove.livejournal.com]

[Luke glances over for a rulebook, and if he sees one he'll pick it up to look at it.]

Mm? Oh...yes I did.

[He took note of the all names, tried to underline everything he thought was an important detail, tried to make sense of all this new information.

But the names didn't have any meaning to him, didn't strike up any kind of old memories.]

They were all from this place called Westport, weren't they?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

That's right.

[Lucas will take his seven tiles out of the bag and pass it to Luke when he's done. The rules were right on top of everything else so he shouldn't have had a problem finding it.]

Westport was where a lot of us ended up last year, and it's where we found the first clues about the town.

[tapshoetomove.livejournal.com]

[And Luke starts reading through the rules! It didn't seem like it'd be too hard to get the hang of anyway.]

So what's this Westport like anyway? I've heard it isn't too pleasant.

[He smiles a little. Searching for clues in a strange, dangerous town? That sounds like something he would do.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

...It really wasn't. You... read about the hazmats, you said, right? Mostly, it was that they kept killing us with poison gas.

[tapshoetomove.livejournal.com]

That's awful...! That was them? I heard they've come here too.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

That was more recently. We saw them first in Westport. ...On the last day, I remember running into you at the church...

Ah, there's not much to think about now except the clues we found. You should have copies of everything.

[tapshoetomove.livejournal.com]

...The church, huh? I really wish I could remember all this.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas finishes arranging his tiles and smiles softly.]

It's alright. Even if you don't... we'll make new memories.

[tapshoetomove.livejournal.com]

[Luke smiles back as he starts setting up his side.]

You're right, I'm sure we will!

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

This will be one of them, right?

I'm going to start off with...

[Lucas spells 'clock' except it's 'c-l-o-k'.]