Twentieth PSI

[a_gentle_boy]

[action, multi-topic for everyone]
Lucas is a wreck.  By now, he has forsaken the hat and the mask, and his burn marks are very clearly visible to anyone who didn't guess before.  He doesn't particularly care.

1. He stumbles across town like a zombie, smashing into things wherever he goes, barely registering the pain.  He stops suddenly in random spots, staring at the floor or at a tree or at a shop window or at a drone.  This is where we had ice cream.  This is where I bought him the present.  This is the bench where he listened to my story . . . This is where . . . This is . . .

2. In school, he keeps his head down and buried and sits in a far corner.  His shoulders occasionally heave.

3. At home, he shuts himself in his room.  Family members or those who visit him will find drawing after drawing after drawing of a certain person strewn all across the floor, each one with slash marks through the face.  Is he already forgetting?  Is he losing the smile, the laugh, the voice?

[action, forward-dated, open to Taiwan, Saki, and Mindy]
A full day after his meeting with Taiwan, Lucas enters the house uninvited.  He doesn't care about not being selfish anymore.  He has remembered -- There is something very precious he needs to get back, the symbol and the memory that he absolutely needs.

He finds it in the basement.  True to his word, the Netherlands has framed the very first drawing that Lucas has ever made, of Miffy and Hello Kitty enjoying a picnic in a park.  Propped up beside it is the best piece of art that Lucas has ever produced: a drawing of the two of them, laughing and happy, so closely resembling each other in looks that they could've passed as a father and a son.

He is about to leave with his treasures when he catches a glimpse of something else out of the corner of his eye.  A shoebox.  For 'Lucas'.  His hands shake as he pops the lid; he stares at what's inside.

"Mr. Netherlands . . . . . . . I . . .  I . . . OK.  I'll keep going.  I'll keep fighting . . . "

((I have been informed that Lucas has been left notes of all the conversations the Netherlands has had with Jane Smith, the Westport notes, and Richard Grey's wallet.  Also, Nini, if you don't mind, I think I will forward-date that conversation they just had to after this.))

Comments

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Sorry. It's just me . . .

[Taiwan will probably see the two pictures laid out flat on the floor by the stairs before she sees Lucas kneeling over the shoebox.]

[pinkplumblossom.livejournal.com]

"Oh, Lucas..."

[There's a bit of happy surprise in her voice - she honestly expected he'd never come over again after hearing Netherlands was droned. She walks over and kneels down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder before looking at the pictures and shoebox.]

"It looks like he kept all of this for you..."

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

That picture . . .

[Lucas remembers that moment so clearly. The first memory he has of the Netherlands.]

We met when he was putting up signs about Miffy. I ripped one down because I thought . . . it was something else.

So I promised I would make a better poster for him . . .

[pinkplumblossom.livejournal.com]

[Taiwan smiles, nodding and squeezing his shoulder just a little.]

"Tell me all about it."

[Now that he's a little calmer than he was the other day, Taiwan figures it'll be good to let him talk things out. She folds her legs, sitting there on the cold basement floor with him.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

After I finished drawing this, he said he loved it. He said he would frame it. He wanted to know if . . . if I liked Hello Kitty or Miffy better. I don't think I said anything.

I liked the rabbit.

[pinkplumblossom.livejournal.com]

"He would have been happy to hear that."

[Smiles, laughing lightly.]

"He and Japan always fought over which one was cuter."

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas nods, slowly. He is remembering the smile on the man's face when he had been presented with that drawing. It is because of that smile that he had decided he would learn how to draw well.

. . .

He starts to tremble again, all of a sudden. With a shock, he realizes . . . This is like . . . This is exactly like what he had done three years ago. Sorted through his mother's letters. Cried over his brother's favorite shirt. Tremblingly deciding what should be thrown out and what should be kept.

It is like the Netherlands is dead.]

[pinkplumblossom.livejournal.com]

[Taiwan has no way of knowing what's going through the boy's head right now. She knows nothing of his past, or what sort of ghosts this is calling up from his memory right now. All she knows is that he needs comfort, and she's the only one there to provide it. So, just as she did before, she reaches over to hug him, pulling his head against her chest while she rubs at his upper back.]

"This must be so hard for you, Lucas... but I'm here, okay? I... I know we're not as close as the two of you were, but I loved him a lot too, so maybe we can help each other through this."

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas covers his face with a hand, as if that can somehow keep him from crying again. He doesn't dare to speak until he is sure he can do so without gasping or panting or otherwise showing his weakness. Last time . . . last time, he had promised himself that he would become strong. Last time, he had fought his way through the tears and the despair to grow up, to become a hero. He had never expected to have to go through something like this again, so soon. He had never expected that the feelings he thought he had conquered had only been buried more deeply within his heart.

But there is no reason that this time couldn't be the same way . . . He places his free hand over Taiwan's hand and whispers.]

I'm done . . . I'm sorry. I . . . I have to be strong.

[pinkplumblossom.livejournal.com]

[Taiwan nods, sandwiching Lucas' hand between her own and squeezing them affectionately. There is something very motherly about the smile on her face at this moment.]

"You can do it, Lucas. Just remember, you're not alone."

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Looking at her face, nodding as he wipes the tears away, Lucas is reminded, suddenly, again of how much Taiwan resembles Hinawa.]

You, too . . . Let's . . . Let's get through this. Together.

[pinkplumblossom.livejournal.com]

[And Taiwan's own expression just brightens that much more at the sight of Lucas' smiling face.]

"We'll both be strong. For him."

[Leans over to give him a kiss on the forehead, hugging him again briefly before letting go.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

We will.

[He turns away and lets out one last, shuddering gasp before he speaks again. There's something that wouldn't be fair not to share with her . . . He doesn't want to deal with it right now, but.]

. . . Miss Taiwan. Look at this.

[The closed shoebox is offered silently.]

[pinkplumblossom.livejournal.com]

"Hmm? What's this?"

[Taiwan looks down at his name written on the box before opening it up. She's never seen any of these things before, but she can guess at where they came from. Her complexion pales a little as she sifts through the items.]

"...Are these from Westport?"

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas nods.]

There's more.

[pinkplumblossom.livejournal.com]

[Taiwan spends some time looking through it all, quietly frowning. She knew he was hiding a lot from her, but she didn't think it was this much...]

"He... never told me much about Westport."

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas is quiet. Westport carried with it its own set of memories of the Netherlands.]

He . . . He didn't want you to worry. It was . . . terrible.

[pinkplumblossom.livejournal.com]

[She sighs, but smiles just a little.]

"I know. It was his way of showing he cared about me. He never wanted me to get involved..."

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas nods again to that.]

But you should know what we found . . . If there's something you've never seen. You should read it.

[pinkplumblossom.livejournal.com]

"I've never seen any of this before..."

[Can you PM me whatever's in these notes or something? Or should I ask Mekky for it?]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas keeps quiet as he allows her to take her time.]

((I-I don't know what she had in mind, actually.))

[pinkplumblossom.livejournal.com]

[Taiwan looks through everything systematically, reading it all over slowly. Finally, she finishes, packing it back neatly into the shoebox.]

"...Thanks for showing me all of this, Lucas. I appreciate it."

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas nods and takes back the box, placing it onto his lap.]

Don't thank me . . . He . . . would've wanted you to see it, too.

[pinkplumblossom.livejournal.com]

[Laughs a little.]

"Yeah... I like to think he would've shown me eventually."

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas glances around the rest of the basement and slowly gets to his feet.]

I . . . I don't think there's anything else.