Twentieth PSI

[a_gentle_boy]

[action, multi-topic for everyone]
Lucas is a wreck.  By now, he has forsaken the hat and the mask, and his burn marks are very clearly visible to anyone who didn't guess before.  He doesn't particularly care.

1. He stumbles across town like a zombie, smashing into things wherever he goes, barely registering the pain.  He stops suddenly in random spots, staring at the floor or at a tree or at a shop window or at a drone.  This is where we had ice cream.  This is where I bought him the present.  This is the bench where he listened to my story . . . This is where . . . This is . . .

2. In school, he keeps his head down and buried and sits in a far corner.  His shoulders occasionally heave.

3. At home, he shuts himself in his room.  Family members or those who visit him will find drawing after drawing after drawing of a certain person strewn all across the floor, each one with slash marks through the face.  Is he already forgetting?  Is he losing the smile, the laugh, the voice?

[action, forward-dated, open to Taiwan, Saki, and Mindy]
A full day after his meeting with Taiwan, Lucas enters the house uninvited.  He doesn't care about not being selfish anymore.  He has remembered -- There is something very precious he needs to get back, the symbol and the memory that he absolutely needs.

He finds it in the basement.  True to his word, the Netherlands has framed the very first drawing that Lucas has ever made, of Miffy and Hello Kitty enjoying a picnic in a park.  Propped up beside it is the best piece of art that Lucas has ever produced: a drawing of the two of them, laughing and happy, so closely resembling each other in looks that they could've passed as a father and a son.

He is about to leave with his treasures when he catches a glimpse of something else out of the corner of his eye.  A shoebox.  For 'Lucas'.  His hands shake as he pops the lid; he stares at what's inside.

"Mr. Netherlands . . . . . . . I . . .  I . . . OK.  I'll keep going.  I'll keep fighting . . . "

((I have been informed that Lucas has been left notes of all the conversations the Netherlands has had with Jane Smith, the Westport notes, and Richard Grey's wallet.  Also, Nini, if you don't mind, I think I will forward-date that conversation they just had to after this.))

Comments

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Is this the fourth or fifth time this has happened? Or tenth? Once again, Lucas cannot put a name to the face or even a memory to the face. It takes him several moments of mute staring before some life comes back into his eyes.]

Fine . . . It's nothing. It's nothing.

[motheringnation.livejournal.com]

You walked into a tree. Is not fine.

[Takes a deep breath and then looks at the boy again. Wait ...she knows him. The boy who fixed her eyes.]

L..Lucas? Are you okay....did something happen?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Oh. She knew his name. . . . No matter how hard he tries, though, there is no memory. His mind is simply not functioning.]

You . . . No. No. It's nothing.

[motheringnation.livejournal.com]

You healed my eyes. Wh-when we got back from the Communist place. Am Ukraine.

A-are you going somewhere?

[Because something happened and her mothering instincts are kicking in.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Ukraine . . . ? She is not Margot's sister. Because she is gone, too, just like Margot and just like the Netherlands and just like everyone else he would never see again. There were two -- three? maybe three -- other people he had healed from blindness during that time . . .

He guesses she has no reason to lie. There is a vague recollection of the face.]

Oh. I'm going . . . Somewhere. Somewhere, yes.

[motheringnation.livejournal.com]

[She nods]

Somewhere. I..I think you have had a shock. Please....di-did something happen?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[There is no reason to tell her. It isn't anything that somebody else should worry about. There are already so many things wrong with the town. Everyone had their own problems. There is no point in giving someone else his burden . . . ]

'Sgone . . .

[motheringnation.livejournal.com]

....gone.

Is...is someone you know gone?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

He's gone . . .

[Every time he voices that thought, in his head or aloud, it's as if the floodgates are raised a bit. Lucas turns his face away.]

[motheringnation.livejournal.com]

[She tries to think of all the people who left recently. There seemed to be a lot. The only ones she really knew personally were Belgium and the Netherlands....]

He?

....can...can you tell me his name?

[Long shot]

....it's n-not Netherlands is it?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[The sudden silence followed by the sounds of heavy breathing are all Ukraine should need to hear.]

[motheringnation.livejournal.com]

[....it ...oh.

And you are now being hugged.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[The touch sends him into even greater hyperventilation, until he sounds like he is attempting to run a marathon. In between the gasps, he tries to speak.]

. . . I . . . So pointless . . . S-So . . . much . . .

[motheringnation.livejournal.com]

[And she pats his back soothingly.]

Calm, be calm. Is alright.

[And other such things. Because she's comforted many people over the decades.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[He shakes his head furiously.]

No . . . No. I'll just . . . pretend it is. Like I don't need him anymore like I've moved on but he'll always . . . always . . . just like them . . .

[motheringnation.livejournal.com]

[Still hugging you]

You don't have to forget him. If he was important to you. Then you will always remember him. You will use his memory as a way to keep your strength up in times of trouble. Because it is what he would want you to do.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[He, turns, suddenly to cry over her shoulder.]

I know . . . He wouldn't want . . . That's . . . worse. . . . so weak . . .

I wanted to say . . . goodbye . . .

[motheringnation.livejournal.com]

[Pats his back.]

It takes time. Is nothing wrong with feeling this way. You are not weak.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Even . . . Even after I promised . . .

['That is why you have become strong'. For the sake of the people who needed him, he had once forged through a sorrow so deep he had thought he would be drowned within his depths for eternity. . . . How could he have let himself feel this way again?]