Twentieth PSI

[a_gentle_boy]

[action, multi-topic for everyone]
Lucas is a wreck.  By now, he has forsaken the hat and the mask, and his burn marks are very clearly visible to anyone who didn't guess before.  He doesn't particularly care.

1. He stumbles across town like a zombie, smashing into things wherever he goes, barely registering the pain.  He stops suddenly in random spots, staring at the floor or at a tree or at a shop window or at a drone.  This is where we had ice cream.  This is where I bought him the present.  This is the bench where he listened to my story . . . This is where . . . This is . . .

2. In school, he keeps his head down and buried and sits in a far corner.  His shoulders occasionally heave.

3. At home, he shuts himself in his room.  Family members or those who visit him will find drawing after drawing after drawing of a certain person strewn all across the floor, each one with slash marks through the face.  Is he already forgetting?  Is he losing the smile, the laugh, the voice?

[action, forward-dated, open to Taiwan, Saki, and Mindy]
A full day after his meeting with Taiwan, Lucas enters the house uninvited.  He doesn't care about not being selfish anymore.  He has remembered -- There is something very precious he needs to get back, the symbol and the memory that he absolutely needs.

He finds it in the basement.  True to his word, the Netherlands has framed the very first drawing that Lucas has ever made, of Miffy and Hello Kitty enjoying a picnic in a park.  Propped up beside it is the best piece of art that Lucas has ever produced: a drawing of the two of them, laughing and happy, so closely resembling each other in looks that they could've passed as a father and a son.

He is about to leave with his treasures when he catches a glimpse of something else out of the corner of his eye.  A shoebox.  For 'Lucas'.  His hands shake as he pops the lid; he stares at what's inside.

"Mr. Netherlands . . . . . . . I . . .  I . . . OK.  I'll keep going.  I'll keep fighting . . . "

((I have been informed that Lucas has been left notes of all the conversations the Netherlands has had with Jane Smith, the Westport notes, and Richard Grey's wallet.  Also, Nini, if you don't mind, I think I will forward-date that conversation they just had to after this.))

Comments

[lotuslife.livejournal.com]

[She places her fingertips very lightly on his shoulder to point him away from the pole and motions for him to follow. The way his voice continues to drag on like that only confirms it to her.]

It is a certain... Code that I follow. A code of honor.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas follows without protest, nodding. He isn't exactly sure what she means, but he isn't exactly sure about anything right now.]

((You are not allowed to write so well in response, Mekky. You are making me cry, too.))

[lotuslife.livejournal.com]

Would you like to hear of it? [she doesn't wait for him to reply before continuing.] There is a certain balance within all of us. A measure of light and of dark. Yin and yang, my brother calls it. We each have it within us. The things that others do... Which effect us... They can throw us off balance. [it isn't that she particularly thinks Lucas will care about what she has to say- it's that by keeping her voice low and her tone level, she'll give him something to listen to. to at least partially focus on past whatever's in his head.

it honestly disturbs her to see a child looking like that. she's seen too many children with that same thousand-yard stare.]


[ooc; I forsee many tears in this thread ;A;]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas allows her words to wash over him. Vietnam's thoughts were correct. They were at least a sufficient distraction for him to think about something else, if only for the briefest of moments and in the shallowest of ways.

He tries to think of something to say in response. It is rude to not participate in a conversation.

He has nothing.]

Oh.

[lotuslife.livejournal.com]

[She smooths past his awkwardness in a way that makes it seem as though it belongs in the conversation.] Sometimes in our lives we see a lot of light. But we don't realize this because we take it for granted. It is always the dark parts that we remember, because they touch us so deeply, and they make us feel most off-balance. To be perfectly harmonized with yin yang is to see enlightenment. Yet, I don't think there is anyone who is truly enlightened...

[She trails off.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas is one who has seen far more darkness than light in his life. It is a wonder that he can manage, even now, to keep his eyes upon the light and open to the beauty overshadowed by the darkness.

But he needs time . . . ]

I should be happy for him . . .

[Although Vietnam will likely have no idea what he is talking about, that is what Lucas thinks she is trying to say.]

[lotuslife.livejournal.com]

[She picks up on his words and pauses, for the briefest of moments, long enough to tuck them into a corner of her memory to ruminate upon later.] People give darkness to one another. But they give each other a lot of light, too. When you saved me, you blessed me with your light. [Quite literally, she thinks.] I owe it to you to return this favor. Until I do, it will be difficult for me to feel spiritually balanced. I am unsure of how to do it quite yet, but I will try my best, Em Lucas.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Please . . . It's OK. You . . . You don't have to do anything.

[His voice has become slightly more animated as a wan smile flickers across his face. This one actually keeps for longer than a half-second.]

I am . . . glad to be able to help people.

[lotuslife.livejournal.com]

[for a moment, her eyes fill with tears; she blinks, and then they are gone. if there's anything in the world that is truly pure- full of light- Vietnam believes it to be children, which is why she hates to see them suffer.] Is that so? Then that is all you need in life. A desire to spread your light.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[All he needs in life . . . It was a nice thing to say, but the pressing need he feels at the moment reminds him otherwise. There were other things -- friendship. laughter. love. Lucas lowers his eyes and nods.]

It's . . . what I've lived for.

[lotuslife.livejournal.com]

I understand. [she tilts her head] I hope that when I see you next, you'll have a true smile on your face.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I'll try . . .

[The smile he attempts now is trembling and weak, breaking the moment he makes eye contact with Vietnam. Their conversation has snapped him out of his numbness, but at the same time, it's left him open to the wave of sorrow that continued to engulf him every time he swam free of its current. He turns away now, swallowing hard to keep himself under control.]

Thanks.

[lotuslife.livejournal.com]

[She rests a hand on his shoulder lightly.] Không có chi. That means 'you are welcome' in my language. But I must say cám ơn, too- thank you. I hope the rest of the day treats you more kindly.

[She turns to go and head back towards her motorbike, but once she's on it she'll idle for a bit, watching him to make sure he's not still running into things.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas feels the touch and shivers slightly. At her next words, he manages a less transient smile and a nod. When she turns to go, he pauses for a half-moment before continuing forward on his path, and although he continues to keep his head down, he no longer walks as uncertainly as he did before.]