[He flinches slightly at the touch, but does not pull away. The boy continues to cry silently into his arm, breathing and gasping softly every few moments as he makes an effort to keep himself under control.
The Netherlands is gone, for good. That is the worst thing. But close behind is the understanding that he is dealing with it in the worst way possible; close behind is the knowledge that he has once again allowed his weakness to overwhelm him. There is nothing the Netherlands would be more unhappy to see than Lucas's devastation, but he is powerless against it, no matter how hard he tries. The guilt is nearly as bad.]
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The Netherlands is gone, for good. That is the worst thing. But close behind is the understanding that he is dealing with it in the worst way possible; close behind is the knowledge that he has once again allowed his weakness to overwhelm him. There is nothing the Netherlands would be more unhappy to see than Lucas's devastation, but he is powerless against it, no matter how hard he tries. The guilt is nearly as bad.]
I just want . . . to say goodbye.