The Truth

[a_gentle_boy]

[Having progressed through the symptoms all week, Lucas is aware that the day is coming when he's going to blab some of his secrets, too.  He keeps out of the house as much as he can, wears a mask on his face to serve as an instant gag if necessary, and when he does feel the need to blab, he spills the beans to his pet bug, who listens very carefully and doesn't judge.  Mostly 'cause it knew everything already anyway. 

It's like being on withdrawal from caffeine.  Super early Friday morning, Lucas is plugging and unplugging the phone alternately in turns, sweating rapidly.  ...He gives in soon enough.]

I... I... 

I destroyed my world.

I destroyed it!  For the sake of saving it, I had to...!  All the responsibility... It fell to me.  In the end, it was my decision, and I ... I chose to destroy it.  It was the only thing that could be done.  I didn't want it.   I never asked to be the one to choose; all I wanted was to beat Pok -- [a brief muffled sound as Lucas clenches his teeth.  he absolutely couldn't say that name it would be against everything he wanted] -- Poh... P-P-Porky.   Porky!  King P.  I wanted to beat him.  I wanted to make things like they were before...!  Before everything was ruined...

It would have been remade according to my heart.  I came here, right after I pulled the Seventh Needle, right after I awakened the Dragon.  The world was destroyed and recreated based on how good I was...  And I'm afraid.  I think about it a lot.  What if I wasn't good enough?  What if I wasn't the right one?  What if they made a mistake when they chose me?  What if... the world just stays destroyed because.... because I was too weak....

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to go home because I think, sometimes, it'll just be... nothing.  Just... nothingness.  All that will be left will be me, knowing that I failed.  Everyone, everything I care for.  I'm afraid... And I know that because I'm afraid...... It just means I'm that much weaker.  I go on and on about love and friendship and things, but sometimes, every now and then...  It's just because I know that's what I should believe.

[Deep breaths for a while as Lucas recovers himself.  That wasn't even the biggest secret.  For the sake of keeping his urges under control, he had let it out.  So be it.]

The savior and the destroyer of the world.  Pathetic, right...?

Comments

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

Well, I just wanted you to know that I think you're a good person, and that I believe in you. And since I'm all hopped up on truth gas right now, you don't have to worry about whether I'm just saying that to make you feel better.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

...Thank you, Kay. I think I'd trust you to mean it even without the gas.

Um.

There's something I have to say to you.

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

Hmm? What is it?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I like you a lot.

[He says it quite matter of factly. He had known he would have to say this as soon as he'd heard Kay's voice.]

I thought you were amazing when I first met you. And then I couldn't stop thinking about you afterwards. Having the chance to talk to you always made my day brighter.

I don't think of you like that as much anymore, but I wanted to let you know.

1/2

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

2/2

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

W-wow... really?

[Kay blushes shyly - a very odd expression for her to be making - and sort of scratches at her cheek a little. She wasn't expecting that at all, so it caught her off guard.]

You really had a crush on me, Lucas?

[Now she's smiling.]

I'm really flattered! I don't know what to say.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Not quite the past tense, yet, but Lucas will nod into the phone.]

Y-Yes. You shouldn't be so surprised. Um. You don't have to say anything. Nothing changes between us, I hope.

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

Well, I mean... you know I have a boyfriend that I really love a lot, right?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I never said anything for a reason, you know.

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

I don't think you need to worry, then.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Um.

If you could never mention this to anyone, I'd appreciate it. ...Although I guess you were the last person I wanted to know so if you know it's not as bad as if anyone else does now...

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

It's okay, I won't say anything! You can trust me.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

...That's probably all the embarrassing things I have to say today. Um. How are you getting along...?

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

Pretty good, I guess.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

If there's anything you need to say really badly, I found it helped for a while to talk to a stuffed animal.

... If you need it.

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, Lucas, that's the cutest thing ever!

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

T-That's...! Um. That was another secret.

[thief-of-truth.livejournal.com]

If all your secrets are that adorable, I don't think you have much to worry about.