The Truth

[a_gentle_boy]

[Having progressed through the symptoms all week, Lucas is aware that the day is coming when he's going to blab some of his secrets, too.  He keeps out of the house as much as he can, wears a mask on his face to serve as an instant gag if necessary, and when he does feel the need to blab, he spills the beans to his pet bug, who listens very carefully and doesn't judge.  Mostly 'cause it knew everything already anyway. 

It's like being on withdrawal from caffeine.  Super early Friday morning, Lucas is plugging and unplugging the phone alternately in turns, sweating rapidly.  ...He gives in soon enough.]

I... I... 

I destroyed my world.

I destroyed it!  For the sake of saving it, I had to...!  All the responsibility... It fell to me.  In the end, it was my decision, and I ... I chose to destroy it.  It was the only thing that could be done.  I didn't want it.   I never asked to be the one to choose; all I wanted was to beat Pok -- [a brief muffled sound as Lucas clenches his teeth.  he absolutely couldn't say that name it would be against everything he wanted] -- Poh... P-P-Porky.   Porky!  King P.  I wanted to beat him.  I wanted to make things like they were before...!  Before everything was ruined...

It would have been remade according to my heart.  I came here, right after I pulled the Seventh Needle, right after I awakened the Dragon.  The world was destroyed and recreated based on how good I was...  And I'm afraid.  I think about it a lot.  What if I wasn't good enough?  What if I wasn't the right one?  What if they made a mistake when they chose me?  What if... the world just stays destroyed because.... because I was too weak....

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to go home because I think, sometimes, it'll just be... nothing.  Just... nothingness.  All that will be left will be me, knowing that I failed.  Everyone, everything I care for.  I'm afraid... And I know that because I'm afraid...... It just means I'm that much weaker.  I go on and on about love and friendship and things, but sometimes, every now and then...  It's just because I know that's what I should believe.

[Deep breaths for a while as Lucas recovers himself.  That wasn't even the biggest secret.  For the sake of keeping his urges under control, he had let it out.  So be it.]

The savior and the destroyer of the world.  Pathetic, right...?

Comments

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

...I don't think it was brave or anything; it's just... I was the right person in the right place at the right time. It had to be done.

But thank you. That makes me feel a little better...

[eternalfuture]

That doesn't mean doing it wasn't brave. I - I get it, that feeling of being really scared but having to do something anyway, and not knowing how it would turn out.

I think...I think it's going to be okay. Love and friendship and caring conquer all.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas smiles a bit, despite how his voice still trembles. It had been a while since he'd met someone who agreed with his motto.]

Love and friendship... Compassion and empathy. Trust, hope, faith. Those are the strongest things in the world, right? If I trust in the love of everyone who believed in me, there's nothing that can't be done...

[eternalfuture]

They are, indeed. If you have all of those things? There's nothing you can't do. Nothing in the world. Love is a powerful thing - the strongest force there is.

[If this was action, she'd so be hugging him right now.]

I like how you think. I'm Usagi - what's your name?

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Indeed they were. Sometimes, though, he wondered if they were enough.]

My name is Lucas. From the Nowhere Islands. It's nice to meet you, miss.

[eternalfuture]

Likewise, Lucas. I'm from Tokyo, in Japan. You'll have to tell me about your home sometime.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[There is a muffled sort of sound over the phone.]

I'd... love to tell you all about it right now; actually I kind of can't help myself. That's why it might be better to do... later... mmph.